Life is happening around here. There is so much that I have wanted to do and haven't been able to.
I had a miscarriage. We've struggled with one of our kids with some serious needs, home maintenance, life with six kids, church callings, caring for others or wanting to and can't. I have spent many a night recently, crying myself to sleep, feeling so inadequate. Then, waking up and in my morning prayers, I'm apologizing and the day hasn't even started yet.
I have felt so discouraged. It all feels that much heavier because of the lack of faith and hope in my life.
Life is supposed to be hard. God wants us to know that we need Him.
Honestly, I'm glad I've chosen the difficult path of being a wife and a mother. I feel the weakest in that role when I rely on my own strength. There is no doubt in my mind that I need the God of miracles to help me and my family. When I turn to Him for guidance, I am enabled. I feel strength and confidence. I feel love and peace. I can look past the weaknesses of myself and my family and know that we will succeed because we trust in God.
I have thought a lot about why I have struggled so much. I have begun to understand that my faith is like a fire and I am in charge of feeding it.
Before the end of 2018, I read the entire Book of Mormon from cover to cover. I spent a ton of time in the scriptures. I paid a price for an experience that I needed. I wanted my faith in my Savior to grow. I marked everything that mentioned Christ in yellow. I highlighted everything that was possible because of Him in red. I prayed that I would see what Christ did, does and can do. I highlighted what my responsibilities were. I have never had such an incredible experience with the scriptures and I LOVE the scriptures. I also spent more time in the Temple and worked on organizing projects around my house that would help to invite the Spirit. I really tried.
Since then, my time in the Book of Mormon has not been nearly as quality or quantity. I have still done stuff and it has been good. Just not as good. I haven't tried as hard to keep the cart and the horse coming in the right order.
I'm working on building my fire of faith back up. It is dedicated work. I know that the difference of our lives is going to be found in what we choose to DO. I've decided to study more about Christ again and look for peace as I read. I have realized that I need to learn how to "be still and know that I Am God". I need more peace.
I find it refreshing and empowering to focus on Christ and all that is possible because of Him. I find it less overwhelming when I think about what HE can do and less about what I can't do. My job is to do my part to make time for the things that invite the Spirit and strengthen my faith.
"Look unto Me in every thought, doubt not, fear not." (D&C 6:36) "It is mentally rigorous to do this but when we do, our doubts and fears flee." -President Nelson
This is a blessing I am going to work for. This and all the blessings of God are available to all who diligently seek them.
I had a miscarriage. We've struggled with one of our kids with some serious needs, home maintenance, life with six kids, church callings, caring for others or wanting to and can't. I have spent many a night recently, crying myself to sleep, feeling so inadequate. Then, waking up and in my morning prayers, I'm apologizing and the day hasn't even started yet.
I have felt so discouraged. It all feels that much heavier because of the lack of faith and hope in my life.
Life is supposed to be hard. God wants us to know that we need Him.
Honestly, I'm glad I've chosen the difficult path of being a wife and a mother. I feel the weakest in that role when I rely on my own strength. There is no doubt in my mind that I need the God of miracles to help me and my family. When I turn to Him for guidance, I am enabled. I feel strength and confidence. I feel love and peace. I can look past the weaknesses of myself and my family and know that we will succeed because we trust in God.
I have thought a lot about why I have struggled so much. I have begun to understand that my faith is like a fire and I am in charge of feeding it.
Before the end of 2018, I read the entire Book of Mormon from cover to cover. I spent a ton of time in the scriptures. I paid a price for an experience that I needed. I wanted my faith in my Savior to grow. I marked everything that mentioned Christ in yellow. I highlighted everything that was possible because of Him in red. I prayed that I would see what Christ did, does and can do. I highlighted what my responsibilities were. I have never had such an incredible experience with the scriptures and I LOVE the scriptures. I also spent more time in the Temple and worked on organizing projects around my house that would help to invite the Spirit. I really tried.
Since then, my time in the Book of Mormon has not been nearly as quality or quantity. I have still done stuff and it has been good. Just not as good. I haven't tried as hard to keep the cart and the horse coming in the right order.
I'm working on building my fire of faith back up. It is dedicated work. I know that the difference of our lives is going to be found in what we choose to DO. I've decided to study more about Christ again and look for peace as I read. I have realized that I need to learn how to "be still and know that I Am God". I need more peace.
I find it refreshing and empowering to focus on Christ and all that is possible because of Him. I find it less overwhelming when I think about what HE can do and less about what I can't do. My job is to do my part to make time for the things that invite the Spirit and strengthen my faith.
"Look unto Me in every thought, doubt not, fear not." (D&C 6:36) "It is mentally rigorous to do this but when we do, our doubts and fears flee." -President Nelson
This is a blessing I am going to work for. This and all the blessings of God are available to all who diligently seek them.
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