Yep. I really do. Blogging has had an affect on my life that I didn't think it would have.
I started my marriage blog An Apple a Day almost 10 years ago. I had my own personal blog several years before that. I really like to write so I would write about whatever was on my mind.
I started my marriage blog because I wanted to help myself and others protect our marriages. When I heard that 3 couples who were my childhood idles were being divorced I got scared. I honestly thought they were the cutest couples and could not figure out what had happened or how it was possible. "If they couldn't keep it together, how could I?!"
I got the inspiration for my blog and started right away to inspire myself and others to nourish our marriages daily. I started to give basic tips or ideas like, "talk to each other without the t.v. on" or "leave a note for them in their car" and then I started sharing advice or counsel I'd read in books or from things that I'd experienced myself.
Well, if you're married, you know that marriage isn't always easy and there were times that I was so frustrated, I found myself rage cleaning, hiding in a closet or crying in the shower because I didn't know what to do or didn't want to see or talk to Zach. (for VARIOUS reasons, ha ha)
Often in those moments, it was like a voice in my head would ask, "what would you want your readers to do right now?" ( I give credit to the Holy Ghost or one of my awesome Angels for the question.)
I would then think about the situation I was faced with and what I would advise my readers to do. So, I would go apologize, serve him, think about the situation from his perspective, look for the good, express gratitude until I felt better, write him a note, make him and I laugh or kiss him good and long.
Why am I telling you this?
Sometimes when we get so engrossed in our problems and frustrations that it is so hard to think clearly. Frustration is a real emotion and can be quite stifling. Blogging for someone else gave me a reason to take myself out of the problem and think rationally. The more I read, studied, applied and wrote, the more I realized how the quality of my relationship at that time could be improved...always.
So, I am telling you this because I really believe that everyone needs a way to get out of their head and think rationally. We all need to do this. Frustration is fine to feel for a time, but if we sit in it, it turns to anger and resentment. Our adversary loves this environment. "Nurse your wounds, be mad, serves that other guy right!" Blah. Lies.
Have you ever heard, "your mess can become your message."? I really believe this. It basically means, if you take the time to figure out your struggles and conquer them, you now have a message to share and the means to help others. This is not to say that you have to conquer all things before you can start sharing, oh no, that's a trap too. "You don't know enough". Blah. Lies.
You know enough. Start a blog. Write to your future grand kids. Put some pressure on yourself to learn how to conquer your mess....or at least face it with more confidence.
Another healthy thing to do is write about what you struggle with. This doesn't mean, throw your people under the bus! Please. That's not helpful to you or them. Focus on you and how what you're learning can help others. (-this is why I started this blog. I created this blog after I had a stillborn baby and was struggling hugely to process the immense grief I felt.)
Don't want to blog? Don't. Leave voice memos on your phone for your adult children. Write in your journal and treat it like a newspaper column.
I really think writing is such a healthy exercise and everyone should do it. Yep, even if you struggle writing birthday cards. Get out of your head and write. It really helps to clear your thoughts.
If what you are thinking is so ugly, you don't want anyone to read it, tear it up in a million pieces and throw it away or crumple it up, throw it in a #10 can and burn it. I've done both. Refreshing.
Zach and I have talked about this many times especially in the last couple of years. It's amazing how wanting to help others and starting a blog really ended up helping me and us WAY more.
So, how do you get out of your own head? Please share with me! (it'll be good for you too!)
I started my marriage blog An Apple a Day almost 10 years ago. I had my own personal blog several years before that. I really like to write so I would write about whatever was on my mind.
I started my marriage blog because I wanted to help myself and others protect our marriages. When I heard that 3 couples who were my childhood idles were being divorced I got scared. I honestly thought they were the cutest couples and could not figure out what had happened or how it was possible. "If they couldn't keep it together, how could I?!"
I got the inspiration for my blog and started right away to inspire myself and others to nourish our marriages daily. I started to give basic tips or ideas like, "talk to each other without the t.v. on" or "leave a note for them in their car" and then I started sharing advice or counsel I'd read in books or from things that I'd experienced myself.
Well, if you're married, you know that marriage isn't always easy and there were times that I was so frustrated, I found myself rage cleaning, hiding in a closet or crying in the shower because I didn't know what to do or didn't want to see or talk to Zach. (for VARIOUS reasons, ha ha)
Often in those moments, it was like a voice in my head would ask, "what would you want your readers to do right now?" ( I give credit to the Holy Ghost or one of my awesome Angels for the question.)
I would then think about the situation I was faced with and what I would advise my readers to do. So, I would go apologize, serve him, think about the situation from his perspective, look for the good, express gratitude until I felt better, write him a note, make him and I laugh or kiss him good and long.
Why am I telling you this?
Sometimes when we get so engrossed in our problems and frustrations that it is so hard to think clearly. Frustration is a real emotion and can be quite stifling. Blogging for someone else gave me a reason to take myself out of the problem and think rationally. The more I read, studied, applied and wrote, the more I realized how the quality of my relationship at that time could be improved...always.
So, I am telling you this because I really believe that everyone needs a way to get out of their head and think rationally. We all need to do this. Frustration is fine to feel for a time, but if we sit in it, it turns to anger and resentment. Our adversary loves this environment. "Nurse your wounds, be mad, serves that other guy right!" Blah. Lies.
Have you ever heard, "your mess can become your message."? I really believe this. It basically means, if you take the time to figure out your struggles and conquer them, you now have a message to share and the means to help others. This is not to say that you have to conquer all things before you can start sharing, oh no, that's a trap too. "You don't know enough". Blah. Lies.
You know enough. Start a blog. Write to your future grand kids. Put some pressure on yourself to learn how to conquer your mess....or at least face it with more confidence.
Another healthy thing to do is write about what you struggle with. This doesn't mean, throw your people under the bus! Please. That's not helpful to you or them. Focus on you and how what you're learning can help others. (-this is why I started this blog. I created this blog after I had a stillborn baby and was struggling hugely to process the immense grief I felt.)
Don't want to blog? Don't. Leave voice memos on your phone for your adult children. Write in your journal and treat it like a newspaper column.
I really think writing is such a healthy exercise and everyone should do it. Yep, even if you struggle writing birthday cards. Get out of your head and write. It really helps to clear your thoughts.
If what you are thinking is so ugly, you don't want anyone to read it, tear it up in a million pieces and throw it away or crumple it up, throw it in a #10 can and burn it. I've done both. Refreshing.
Zach and I have talked about this many times especially in the last couple of years. It's amazing how wanting to help others and starting a blog really ended up helping me and us WAY more.
So, how do you get out of your own head? Please share with me! (it'll be good for you too!)
2 comments:
I feel this way in motherhood a bit. I constantly think about what others would think about the way that I "mother" and it often times stops me in my tracks and helps me choose the higher path. Self-conscious peer pressure, I call it. It might be a bad thing...another way of making me feel guilty. But I know it has helped me make better choices in a lot of cases so it can't be all bad. I do need to write those things down though. I have a blog for each of my kids and I write them letters. The goal is to write in it a lot, but it has turned into a write-one-post-a-year-and-summarize-their-entire-life-in-one-entry kind of deal. But this has inspired me to keep up with it a bit more.
What a great idea to have a blog for each of your kids Jenny! Yes, peer pressure isn't all bad. I have been motivated in like manner from time to time. Thank you for your comment!
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