The post I never wrote

There it was, the title, "my neighbor Dave and what he didn't mean to teach me about God.".  

You guys! Dave passed away a few months ago! I have no memory of writing this post.  It was sitting there collecting dust in my drafts.  

Eagerly, I clicked on it to see what I wrote....

...it was empty! *insert super sad face and soft tears

This struck a hard chord for me today.

I stopped writing.  And I missed the chance to write about Dave when I felt inspired.

Seriously.  As I sit here, my frown lines are deepening and I feel a real sense of regret for what I didn't write.

Why did I stop?

2020.  

The world stopped.  

I was so grateful it did because I was drowning. 

 Literally.  

When everything that my kids were involved in, stopped, I was so, so grateful! 

I decided to stop my stuff too.  Well, that's not true.  I still had a house we were living in and remodeling.  I still had six kids we were homeschooling.  I still had plenty going on.  But, I didn't have to keep, literally, running everywhere.  We started focusing on house projects and on going for walks.  It was lovely.

Here's what I didn't realize would happen when I stopped blogging...

My muscles for writing would get soft. And with them, my courage to begin again.

They really did.  

And the ideas would slow down after a time.

Thankfully, the desire hasn't left me.

I pulled open my computer today to dust off the blog and found that I'm sad I didn't keep going.

Those moments happen though, don't they? 

The ones where we think, I wish I'd done that.  I wish I'd kept going.

All we really have is now.

So, if you've been sitting on words you haven't written...

a project you've meant to start...

a nudge you've ignored...

This is your reminder.

You can still begin again.

I am choosing to believe this:

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -Carl Bard